The Six Week Tune Up
(From Software to Firmware)

A few years back I went to an expensive health club and paid to have a trainer work out the best plan of exercise for me.. The next week and a hundred dollars lighter (See it already worked!) I was handed a carefully calculated and personally tuned exercise program of reps, weights, and machines. I looked over my path to "stud muffin" and noticed a pattern in the prescribed reps, and weights. I did a few thousand "reps" of my fingers and came up with a program that exactly duplicated the results given the input information. Since that time (nearly 5 years,) I have periodically continued to use the software to generate an exercise program to turn my jiggle-ware into firmware.

Neither the staff or management of Advanced Intelligent Networks Corporation, or the author of this web page are experienced, licensed, or knowledgeable to judge or recommend the validity or safety of this Exercise Program. We do not necessarily endorse this program and recommend that before trying this or any other exercise regimen to consult a physician or licensed medical practitioner. Use at your own risk.

Getting Started

There are three steps to this system.

  1. Range Test
  2. Input your numbers
  3. Generate the "carefully calculated personally tuned" exercise program

If you have done the range test and have the numbers, click here

The Range Test

Perhaps this is where the skill of the Personal Trainer comes in. We walked around the gym and talked about what I thought I needed to improve. I begged her for a date and she said that she couldn't help me with that technique I was too far gone..

However, she did pick out a few machines that would tone down the jiggle in the gut and chest, and strengthen my legs for distance running, something that I naturally did to relieve stress.

(Very Important) She got me to do a no-load workout for at least 15 minutes to warm up the muscle groups that I would be range testing. This involved an exercise bike with just enough tension that I actually had to "push" slightly. The same feeling would have been about 15 minutes going up and down stairs at my own pace. (My body usually regulates the load naturally). This is the most important part which really requires the medical pre-check and some supervision. If you feel light headed, dizzy, or see stars, have trouble catching your breath, etc. STOP immediately, and see a doctor before continuing.

Then we went to each of the machines that seemed the least used (probably because they resembled torture machines), and the goal was to find some combo of weights or loads that I could barely get 5 repetitions out of.

I tried the first machine (a leg push machine) and she chose the weight toward the light end. We continued up in weight 3-5 more tries until we found the weight. (mind you I'm continually thinking that I need to do 5 of what ever I choose). We finally found probably the highest weight that I could repeat five times.. (On a side note, when you do this be careful. There is something about having a gorgeous personal trainer watching you perform where you might actually exceed your limits, but your glands have long ago taken over your senses, so the range test turned out WAY TOO HIGH.. Be forewarned.)

We chose 5 machines, although it could have been fewer or more.. She wrote down the "maximum" numbers, took my check, and gave me a devistating (Don't you WANT to come back and see me?) look, which, frankly, gave me more of a work out than those machines.

Your Personal Program!

Chose 5 exercises that you can do consistantly. If you don't belong to or can't get to a gym, then nearly anything will work as long as you can be consistant (count the books you lift, the stairs you climb, what ever). The results of your range tests will be put into the program and a safe exercise program and schedule will be generated.

The information you need to collect about your range tests are as follows:

The Machine Name
For each of 5 "machines" write down the machine name or "exercise" that you want to use to identify your torture.
Minimum Load
This is the base of the weight range. Some machines start at 40 pounds, you just can't get lower than that. In most cases the answer is 0.
Maximum Load
This is the magic number that you can safely perform 5 times. This will probably be hard to find as it will take 3-4 attempts at the wrong positions until you feel you got the right one.
Granularity
This is the size of the steps between the minimum load and the next step up. In otherwords, a weight machine might start at 20 pounds and each additional weight adds 10 pounds, then this number would be 10. If I were lifting books, hopefully this number would be "1".
Unit
This is the unit of measure for the granularity, books, pounds, inches, seconds.. what ever.

And that is it. Click here to generate a printable form that you can take to the Gym.